


Homeless

by The_White_Rabbit42



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 18:20:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10496826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_White_Rabbit42/pseuds/The_White_Rabbit42
Summary: You’re seriously injured saving Gabriel from the worst fate an angel could experience, but what will yours turn out to be?





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for for March’s @gabriel-monthly-challenge statement prompt on tumblr:
> 
> From underneath the thin layer of snow, the first bloom of springtime emerged. He resisted the temptation to crush it beneath his heel.
> 
> This one did not make it through my beta. Apologies for anything that slipped past.

Having one’s wings detached was supposedly the second worst pain an angel could experience.  It went beyond just a physical sensation to one that tore through their very being.  The worst?  Existing without them.  

 

Being wingless stripped them of everything that made them divine, leaving them disconnected.  They were no longer part of Heaven but neither did they belong on earth and they would be destined to remain caught between both worlds for eternity.  

 

Thanks to you, Gabriel was not currently experiencing that fate.  Yours, on the other hand, currently hung in the balance.

 

 **From underneath the thin layer of snow, the first bloom of springtime emerged.  He resisted the temptation to crush it beneath his heel.** He was Heaven’s mightiest weapon.  His power was absolute. His strength rivaled by few things in existence.  He could snap entire civilizations out of existence and had, on a few occasions.  He could storm the gates of Hell on his own and make quite the dent in its army before something figured out a way to take him down.  He could hold the entire Eastern seaboard in its own time loop for weeks if he wanted.  

 

Saving one human?  Suddenly beyond his control.

 

While he was no stranger to failure, he hadn't felt this helpless since his family had fallen apart so long ago.  The uselessness and shame had instantly reignited, searing through him and causing past to overlay present in ways he never wanted to think about again.

 

Fucking Lucifer and his father damn need to break everything when he didn't get his way.  

 

It wasn’t just his brother’s fault.  He should have known anything to do with Lucifer was going to be bad news bears, but the moment Cas finally got a break in tracking Luce’s love child, the scooby gang insisted they had to act on it.  Unfortunately, they’d been expected.

 

Dagon had been waiting and she, unlike most of the idiots Hell churned out these days, knew how to do her homework.  She knew you carried an archangel in your back pocket and Gabriel had been the first thing she’d taken out of play.

 

Holy oil was not as rare a commodity as it really needed to be.

 

She hadn't just caged him, however.  Unbeknownst to everyone, she had rigged a trap so the moment someone broached the ring to free him, it triggered a series of sigils designed to strip him of his power.  Each one that detonated took a piece of him with it.  The magic was old, powerful, and beyond even a prince of hell’s paygrade.  

 

Somebody had a lot of explaining to do considering last he checked, Lucifer was supposed to be locked up tight in his cage.  

 

Gabe went back to pacing, doing his best to focus on putting one foot in front of the other.  It was starting to get to him, not being able to be in the hospital with you.  He had tried to earlier, but a helpless archangel was not a pretty sight and even if he managed to keep it together on the surface, his shit was scattered in so many piles he had no hope of pulling it back together anytime soon.  

 

The first indication had been the lights.  Whenever he hadn't been actively thinking about staying calm, a series of flickers would skitter through the halls.  Shortly after, computers in the ER began to glitch, the issues slowly spreading into other wings.  When he was told he wasn’t allowed any further in the building because you needed to head into surgery, he nearly fried the entire electrical system.

 

It was about that time the Winchesters decided he needed to take a walk.  

 

Jolly Green had been the one to draw the short straw.  Thankfully, he knew enough to not only keep his mouth shut, but to give the archangel a wide berth.  He remained on a bench just outside the sliding doors while Gabriel decided the air he needed was a little further away from the lingering smell of sickness and death.

 

Those were two things he never wanted to experience in connection with you.  Now.  Again.   _Ever_.  

 

He shoved his hands into his pockets, fingers worrying over the smooth pendant of your necklace.  It was a protective sigil he’d given you for your birthday.  At the time you’d been so careful to show the same level of enthusiasm for each gift you received, but Gabe knew his had stolen the show.  Your brain had lit up brighter than it had all evening and the synergies between synapses and emotion told him you loved it.  Later you admitted it was because he’d made it the old-fashioned way.  No magic.  No mojo.  Just his own two hands.

 

There had also been a hell of a lot of blasphemy involved, but he had decided to leave that part out.

 

You weren’t allowed to keep it during the procedure, much to his dismay.  Its power didn’t just lay within symbol, but in the very materials.  He had infused his grace within them, forging his energy to become attuned to yours.  Should your life dip too low, it would release his energy, helping you survive long enough for him to arrive.  

 

He wished his ego had considered the possibility he may not always be capable of saving you.  Maybe then he would have made something a little stronger.  

 

The power was all but tapped out now, but it would have brought him comfort knowing that a small piece of him was still with you, even if he couldn’t be.  

 

His hand closed around the object, the flames of his anger licking higher again as he thought about why you needed to be there in the first place.  It was his fault.  He should have anticipated Kelly wasn’t alone, that something would have reached out to his brother, and Lucifer, being Luce, would pull out the worst barrel full of crazy he could think of.  

 

It would have been kinder if he simply tried to kill Gabe again.  What his brother had planned came with a few more cosmic consequences, ones that would have stripped him of everything that mattered.  Saving him, however, meant you had taken that energy into yourself and it had all but shredded you from the inside out.  Both Gabe and Cas had been far too drained to be able to heal the damage and the younger angel barely had enough in him to even get you all to the hospital.  

 

If you pulled through, he was going to have a long, _long_ chat with you on how soft, fleshy mortals were not responsible for saving beings designed to outlive just about everything in existence.  

 

Not if. _When_.  You were a fighter.  He had to believe you could survive this because the alternative might have him leveling the entire east side of whatever city you were in.  

 

He couldn’t do this without you.  He wouldn't even know what this even was if you were gone.  He’d come to that startling conclusion the moment that bright flash of divine energy had taken you down.

 

He’d never known what it was like to let someone slip past his defenses this way.  You had had to fight for every inch of it and once there, you’d dig your feet in refusing to leave no matter how hard he pushed back.  Once he accepted you were there to stay, he experienced things he’d never allowed himself to, things that went beyond his expectations, things he always thought would make him weak.  

 

He had been wrong.  It made everything so much more.   _You_ made everything more and if you didn’t survive, the world you’d opened up to him over the last few years was going to come crashing down around him.

 

There was nothing he could do, however, but wait.  

 

His only measure of time lay in the sky.  He continued to pace as the sun sank down beneath the horizon, tracking it even once it disappeared by the rays that trailed in its wake.  Once those had faded, he turned his gaze toward the heavens, observing the agonizingly slow progress of each bright speck that appeared.  Every second that passed stretched on heavily behind him and it seemed like the suffocating limbo he was caught in was never going to end.  

 

He breathed in and something unnatural drifted over his senses.  Something ancient.  Something that resonated with the same power that should be flowing through him and the very same responsible for that not being the case.  Uneasiness seeped in as he realized something was wrong and every instinct told him he needed to get to you. _Now_.  

 

The breeze vanished, the very molecules in the air surrounding him suddenly stagnating.  He glanced toward the building to find the automatic doors had stilled though they were a third of the way open.  Sam still sat in his spot, striking an awkward pose, his hand halfway to his head as if about to run it through his hair.  Even the stars seemed to have stopped in their path, their light eerily inanimate and lacking their usual twinkle.  

 

There was no curse in existence that adequately covered the amount of panic he felt in that moment.

 

_Hang on, sweetheart.  Please hang on.  I’m coming._

 

It was a desperate prayer born from the knowledge he was already too late.  Before he could even take a step, the world shrank in around the edges.  Vivid colors that kept their hues even in the absence of daylight lost their luster, as if becoming oversaturated with varying shades of grey.  The darkness, however, seemed to stretch on infinitely around him, gaining ground where light had been lost.  The universe itself felt less vast.  Less full.  Just less…

 

...and suddenly very empty.  

 

By the time he breathed out, he knew that you were gone.  

 

This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen.  

 

You weren’t supposed to die.  

 

Not like this.  

 

Not for _him._

 

Gabriel wasn’t sure when time began to move again, but when he looked back toward the building, Cas and Dean were stepping out the front door.  No doubt they were coming to deliver the news and the realization that this _was_ happening had the last vestige of his control shattering.  Red inked in around his vision causing the ground to tremble.  A part of him tried to calm the rising wildfire igniting through his veins, but there wasn’t enough left of that part of him that cared.  That piece of absoluteness woven into his being began burning bright and dangerous within the darks of his eyes.

 

Things were about to get real bad real fast.  

 

Cas instinctively tugged Dean’s arm, pulling his lover behind him.  The gesture in and of itself was in line with the angel’s persona.  The way wings shot out in challenge, however, was not.   The rush of feathers brought with them wisps of blue that unfurled against the darkness and it took a moment for Gabe to realize what it was.

 

He had never seen the connection that flowed between the two men before.  It was woven not only into the threads of fate surrounding them, but into their very beings, stretching between them to form one united path of energy.  He wasn’t sure if Cas’ actions had lifted the veil or if it was his own heightened sentiments that revealed the truth on a much more cosmic level than usual.  Whatever the reason, the archangel had a very visual reminder that he was not the only one with someone they would do anything to protect.  

 

Even in Gabe’s weakened state, Cas would be no match for him and the younger angel knew it.  The display sparked something in the archangel, defusing his rage to a more manageable level and the ground grew still once again.

 

“Gabriel, she’s _fine,_ ” Sam’s voice finally reached his ears and the angel’s eyes snapped in the man’s direction.  “Y/n’s ok.”

 

His ire began to swell again, hazel flashing with warning.  You were gone.  He could feel it with everything in his being and if the big dumb moose didn’t stop insisting otherwise, nothing the universe could show him was going to keep him from going nuclear.  

 

“Brother, it’s true,” Cas insisted, one hand raised toward Gabriel while the other had drifted behind his back, keeping the older Winchester behind him.  As if Dean had a choice with the face full of feathers he still had.

 

“Prove it,” Gabe spat.  “Take me to her.”

 

“The doctors said as soon as she’s out of recovery we can see her.”  Dean eased his way beneath a wing, drawing a displeased look from his lover.  His eyes were sharp, no doubt assessing Gabe’s response to the limit he’d just placed.

 

“ _Now_ ,” Gabriel insisted, the ground giving another angry rumble.      

 

“Alright, alright,” he agreed, hands going up in surrender.  “Just… try not to pop another vessel while you’re in there.  She may have won her fight, but there are plenty of others still battling theirs,” he reminded then paused as he considered something.  “You even have enough mojo to sneak in there?”

 

“We’ll see, won’t we,” the archangel said, head tilting slightly as he gave a bitter smile.  He didn’t expect to be able to.  Then again, he didn’t expect to find anything left to warrant him sneaking in.  

 

*************

 

It didn’t make sense.  He’d gotten every cosmic indication that your energy had faded.  Yet, there you lay, the steady beep of the monitor echoing your pulse, an ever present reminder that you were still very much alive.  It wasn’t just your body, either.  Your mind was there, subdued from the anesthesia, but functioning in a way that told him you hadn’t been evicted so quickly your flesh hadn’t realized it was now empty.  

 

The resulting surge of emotion nearly knocked out the power within a five mile radius.  Gabriel’s name clamored across his mind as all three men downstairs sent up a simultaneous prayer.  It hadn’t been enough, but the way your equipment stuttered?  That had scared him into getting it together again real quick.

 

He couldn’t wait to touch you.  It took everything in his power to stay content with watching.  He couldn’t shake the driving need to feel connected to you again.  There was an odd dissonance to your presence, like you were a thousand years in either direction instead of right in front of him.  It made him ache to hold you against his chest until your hearts fell into the same rhythm, your energy sinking beneath each others’ skin until it felt like you were simply one being.  

 

More than anything, he couldn’t wait to see your smile again, the one that never failed to calm whatever storm was simmering beneath the surface.  It reminded him that no matter what was thrown his way, everything would turn out fine, because he had you to come home to.

 

It had taken him over a year and his aunt nearly wiping out existence, but he could admit now that you were all that mattered.

 

It wasn’t long before the nurses were moving you into your own room.  Gabriel appreciated the care they showed you, though one seemed particularly tender.  A quick peek inside her mind revealed you reminded her of a daughter she had lost years ago in an accident.  She had been a fighter too, surviving much longer than anyone expected.

 

That brief glance also revealed no one on staff had expected you to still be there.   _This one has something worth living for_ the woman thought, and Gabriel couldn’t help but smile.  It didn't stay for very long.  

 

There were so many places he wanted you to see, so many things he wanted you to experience.  You kept telling him there would be time.  You just needed to finish this case.  You needed to find Lucifer.  Now, it was Lucifer’s child that was getting in the way.  

 

When you were better, he was making damn sure not to let you convince him to put things off any longer.  

 

By the time the staff had you settled, slivered rays were beginning to seep in through the window.  Sam, Dean, and Castiel were eventually ushered in and the archangel waited until they were alone before allowing himself to appear.  

 

“How is she?” Dean asked.  His voice was rough, weariness weighing heavily on his features.  Sam didn’t appear to be in any better condition as he rubbed a hand over his face.  

 

“Stable,” Gabriel answered.  It was the most he could say, really.  Your brain was still mostly powered down though the drugs had long since worn off.  It was no doubt still recovering from everything your body had been through.    

 

“The doctors said there’s a chance she might not wake up,” Sam informed him, caution weaving its way beneath his words as eyes warily watched him.  “That it might take awhile before she does.”  

 

Well that was kind of them considering most of the doctors didn’t think you were even going to open your eyes again.  Gabriel knew better.  You had made it this far.  You’d make it the rest of the way home.  

 

“Why don’t you get some sleep,” he suggested and just to make sure they didn’t mistake him for harboring too much concern for their well-being, “You both look like shit.”  

 

“You’re mug ain’t looking so great either, pretty boy,” Dean shot back, flopping down in the nearest chair.  Gabriel was aware he should probably take his own advice.  He had scraped the bottom of the barrel just keeping himself hidden, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to rest, not until he saw that smile, not until he knew things were truly ok.    

 

Sam offered the seat beside the bed, but the archangel gestured for him to take it.  Mostly because Gabe wasn’t able to sit still anyway.  Waiting had never been his strong suit and he’d done more of that tonight than he probably had in the last decade.  Instead, his nerves directed him to the doorway where he had the perfect view of you and the outside hallway.  He doubted trouble would find you all again that quickly, but his overconfidence had been what put you here to begin with.  He wasn’t about to let you down again.

 

He spent the next handful of hours studying the faces that made their way in and out of the hall.  He figured out which ones belonged to the floor, which staff came from other sections but had brief duties here, and which visitors belonged to which room, committing each to memory.  The family next door had particularly caught his attention, mostly because the woman there was about your age.  She didn’t look like you, but he couldn’t stop noticing how the little girl had your hair and eye color.

 

It made him question things he’d never considered before.  Did you even want children?  He assumed being a hunter meant you had decided against it, never mind dating a member of the God squad, but he had never thought to ask.  There were so many things he realized he hadn’t talked to you about, so many things that had filled his head the moment he thought you were gone.  

 

Maybe after this he could take you to Fiji like he promised.  Bermuda.  An island of undisclosed location.  Anywhere, so long as it was away from devil spawn, demons, and interrupting Winchesters with a private beach waiting for just the two of you.  

 

“Sam?”  Gabriel’s head instinctively turned toward your voice.  It was weak and the moment he heard it he expected everything within him to immediately become attuned again.  It didn’t, but the elation that rose in response to you was so encompassing and heady that it saturated his mind to the point he couldn’t focus on anything else.  

 

He watched you blink against the sun filtering in through the blinds.  The rays of light illuminated your eyes, breathing life back into your worn and pallid features.  

 

“Hey,” the sasquatch greeted, sitting up a little straighter.  “How are you feeling?”   

 

“Like I jumped on a grenade,” you grumbled.

 

Well that wasn’t too far from the truth.  

 

You tried to ease yourself into a sitting position, but the movement had pain flaring potently across both your mind and features.  You winced, eyes squeezing shut for a moment as you let out a breathy curse, your hand flying to your midsection.

 

Gabriel couldn’t wait until his power returned and he could make every ache within you disappear.

 

“Don’t,” Sam cautioned, hand coming up but freezing when he realized he wasn’t sure where would even be a good place to touch you.  “You just came out of surgery a few hours ago.”

 

“That would explain why I feel like someone sliced and diced their way through me,” you breathed.  It was hard to tell what weighed more heavily on you, the discomfort from your injuries or the sheer exhaustion of how much you had been through in the last twenty-four hours.

 

Your head dropped back against your pillow, eyes closing for a few moments.  “Tell me we at least got the little bastard.”

 

Gabe’s lips gave a slight lift.  Of course that would be the first thought on your mind.

 

“Not yet, but we will,” Sam reassured.  

 

The angel felt a pair of eyes on him from across the room and turned to find Dean giving him a questioning look.  The way the man’s mind was lit up with activity, he was eager to give his greetings.  The archangel motioned for him to go ahead.  What was a few more moments?  Besides, there was something to be said about saving the best for last.  

 

“Hey there, champ,” Dean said, moving to the end of your bed.  “Welcome back.”

 

“Wherever I went, I don’t think I should visit again for awhile,” you deadpanned.  

 

“Yeah,” Dean said, giving you a weary smile.  “Let’s avoid another trip like that ever again.”

 

Your eyes narrowed.  “Where’s Cas?”

 

The angel had stepped out to get an update from Crowley not too long ago.  The moment his name came up, however, a familiar flapping sounded and he suddenly appeared between the brothers.  

 

“Right here,” the angel announced, giving you a rare ghost of a smile.  “I am glad you survived the operation.”  

 

“Me too,” you managed a smile of your own before diving right into business.  “So what the hell happened?”

 

“We can talk about that later,” Sam suggested, eyes glancing up in Gabriel’s direction.  “I think there’s someone else who wants to see you.”  

 

Gabe pushed off the doorframe, vaguely aware he was probably smiling like an idiot.  He couldn’t help it even if he tried and he doubted anyone would hold it against him.  You were his soulmate, after all.  He had every right to be grinning like a fool that you were going to be just fine.  

 

“Hey sugar snap,” he greeted, sitting on the edge of your bed.  “Miss me?”

 

Your eyes swung in his direction before doing something odd.  They moved at him, but not onto him, suddenly sliding through him as if focusing on something across the room.  Gabe tensed, not sure what to expect but when turned the doorway was empty.  

 

“Is this like the time I woke up in Dallas with a head injury and you tried convincing me I had a twin named Marmalade everyone could see but me?”  You asked, eyeing the men sideways. Sam and Dean exchanged a look.

 

“Um, sweetheart?” Gabe said, waving a hand in front of your face when you didn’t even acknowledge him.  Silence settled, uncertain glances flying between the three men as the archangel continued to stare at you.  

 

“Ok, now it’s just getting weird,” you informed them.  “Maybe we can save the pranks for when I feel a little less like death warmed over?”

 

“Real funny, cupcake,” the archangel said, despite the dryness in his tone he could feel relief slipping away from him. You continued to ignore him and that lingering uneasiness pushed its way to the front of his mind again.  

 

“You really don’t see him?”  Sam was the first one coming to the realization that maybe, just maybe, this wasn't a joke.  Gabe needed more convincing.  You did owe him a pretty good one after he had zapped you back to ancient Greece to get a first hand look at the maenads you were researching for a case.  Never mind he hadn't been messing around, for once.  

 

“See who?” You asked, eyes sweeping the entire length of the room.  As before, when your eyes came to him they didn’t stop, your focus only tracking objects that were across the room.

 

He had to commend you on your dedication, but his patience was not infinite and if he was being honest, he had no idea how he’d made it this long without someone suffering his wrath considering he’d hit his limit around the time they had to resort to modern medicine.  

 

“I surrender,” he told you, reaching over to snag your hand.  His fingers somehow missed yours, but he was too distracted by the way Sam’s eyes went wide, brows heading toward his hairline.  The man hastily looked toward Dean in a way that suggested something was seriously wrong.  Panic pushed against the angel’s chest, and although he could hear your heart beating, his eyes still sought out the machine next to your bed.  It confirmed your pulse continued its steady pace and a quick check on your wounds suggested nothing was any worse than it had been a moment ago.

 

What was the man’s problem?

 

Gabriel’s hand moved protectively to your arm but instead of making contact with your skin, his fingers sank down into you.  No, not into you, completely _through_ you, tips continuing through your side and landing on the warm sheets beneath your body.  

 

No wonder Sam looked like he’d seen a ghost.

 

You _were_ real.  There was nothing other than that little fluke to suggest you were somehow no longer tangible.  It didn’t stop the youngest Winchester from double checking.  He reached up, hand hovering next to your shoulder before finally tips pushed forward to give you a poke.  Relief flooded the man’s features though Gabe was far from feeling the same.

 

What in his father’s name was going on?

 

You eyed your friend as if questioning his sanity, before a shrewdness overtook your stare.  Your mind and body may not be up to snuff, but there was nothing wrong with your instincts and there was no mistaking the way Sam looked back toward his brother and Cas in question.  

 

“What is going on?” You asked, taking a moment to stare at each of the three men.  

 

“Good fucking question,” Gabe muttered.  At this point he didn’t expect a response from you, but it didn’t stop the pang of disappointment from flaring than if he had.  

 

“You didn’t just hear that?” Dean questioned, eyes bouncing between you and the archangel.  

 

“Hear what?” You demanded.  “And why does everyone keep looking next to me?”  Wariness seeped into your gaze as you eyed the spot next to you.

 

“Y/n, what do you remember?” Cas inquired.  The angel had that look on his face, the one that suggested he had caught wind of a scent and was momentarily sniffing out a trail.  

 

“There’s a whole lot I remember,” you said, sarcasm sweeping through your words.  “And unless we want to be discussing some real interesting facts involving pink satin,” your eyes swung to Dean briefly before glancing at Sam, “Or Albuquerque, I suggest you narrow it down a little.”

 

You were done.  He could tell by the way your pupils expanded slightly, giving your look a manic edge.  You were well aware you were in the middle of something big, something no one was telling you about, and you did not appreciate it.  

 

“What do you remember about the last twenty-four hours?”  The angel clarified.

 

“We went after the spawn of satan and got our asses kicked,” you told him and for all the attitude you gave you might as well have followed it with _duh_.  

 

“Do you remember who was there?”  Cas continued.

 

“If you have something to ask, just ask it,” Gabe snapped.  The way your nerves and his were thrumming, neither one of you were going to survive the man’s game of twenty questions.  Cas spared him a brief, patient look, but ultimately did what he was told.

 

“Y/n, can you tell me who Gabriel is?”

 

“Who?”  The response was so automatic it couldn’t be anything but genuine.  The clamor inside the archangel suddenly stilled.  It wasn’t possible.  He was the one you were destined to be with.  He was the last being you should ever be able to forget.

 

Cas was the only one who didn’t seem shocked by the response.  He had clearly figured out what was happening and it wasn’t anything good by the way his lips pulled thin, eyes falling shut beneath the weight of the knowledge.  

 

“The archangel?” Sam probed, disbelief overshadowing his ability to tell one of them had already put the pieces of the puzzle together.  He wasn’t the only having trouble keeping up.    

 

“Your soulmate?” Dean broke in.  

 

Silence fell as you simply stared at him before finally asking, “Have you all been into the rum again?”

 

“What is it, Cas,” Gabe asked, his question so quiet the angel might have been the only one in the room able to hear it.  He tried to brace himself.  He told himself whatever it was, he could handle it.  You were alive and that was what mattered.  

 

Gabriel had always been an exceptional liar, especially with himself.

 

“The reason you were hurt so badly is because you took in a spell meant to cripple your soulmate,” Cas began, focusing his attention on you.

 

“The archangel Gabriel,” you clarified.  You sounded so detached, tone flat, devoid of any sentiment one way or another.  His name had never sounded so foreign on your tongue and it had pieces of him still raw from having just been replaced jarring loose once more.

 

“Yes,” the angel responded, sending a short, sympathetic look in his brother’s direction.  “The last pulse was meant to clip his wings, severing his ties with heaven in the cruelest way.  He would no longer be an angel, but neither would he be human and his soul would be left to drift between the worlds.  You intercepted it before it could.”

 

The angel paused, giving everyone a moment to take in the information.  The answer was there already.  Gabriel could feel it skittering across the edge of his mind.  He couldn’t quite grasp it, however, or perhaps, on some basic level, he simply didn’t want to.    

 

“It didn’t just damage my body, did it,” you stated.  That’s when Gabe saw it, an echo of him in the darks of your eyes, a distant memory lingering just beyond your reach, acknowledgable only on what had to be a purely instinctual level.  Whatever it was faded fast, and as that brief spark became swallowed by nothingness, Gabe felt a part of him go with it.  

 

Cracks began to form along his mask, the veneer only strong enough to keep the whole thing from crumbling as the truth edged its way into his consciousness.  

 

“I don’t believe so,” Cas said, everything softening from his voice to his features.  “It is unprecedented, this magic being used on a human, but since the goal was to destroy an angel’s greatest bond in the universe, it stands to reason it would act similarly for you.”   

 

The loss Gabriel felt, the one that lingered within his veins and whispered of an all-consuming absence flared to life.  Instead of his sentiments spilling over, however, they began to slip away, caught in the empty void that blossomed through his chest.

 

“Are you saying the spell severed their bond?” Sam asked.  

 

“If that were the case, she should still be able to see and hear him,” Cas insisted.  “Because the magic is meant to destroy something much stronger, I don't think it stopped there.  It seems to have removed him from her reality completely.”  

 

A heavy silence settled beneath the weight of the knowledge.  A visceral understanding flashed through Gabriel’s system and that blinding moment of clarity had his mask splintering beyond repair.

 

He would never be able to hold you close against him or feel you press a smile to him ever again.  He would never get to sink beneath your skin, to get lost in your touch and heat and come together in a way that made him feel complete in every way imaginable.  The only way he’d ever get to feel your warmth was through something else you’d touched and that last thought had everything growing cold within him.  

 

His mind, however, continued to reel as he thought of what that meant for you.  Sure, you would be denied all the same things, but you didn’t remember, one small mercy in this entire clusterfuck.  But if he wasn't there, who would remind you of your beauty when you lost sight of it?  Who would be there to soothe your pain when you refused to acknowledge it was beyond your ability to save everyone?  Who would be there to hold you at night when the horrors of your life crept in around the edges, triggering nightmares that shook more than just your body and mind?      

 

It was these truths that proved too much, and there was a shared moment of pain as Gabriel’s world gave beneath the weight before finally shattering.  The archangel looked broken and defeated in a way the other men knew he would never recover from.  Gabe didn't notice the way his brother put his arm around his own mate, needing to feel the reassurance of their connection, or the way Dean’s sympathy for both his friends had parts of him on the verge crumbling.  

 

They were wrong.  Living without his wings wasn’t the worst fate.  It was living without his heart.  He would gladly give up Heaven if it meant keeping your bond, for where was his home if not with you?


End file.
